egotrip

I just found this thing again, or it found me. I wish I had something momentous to say. Anyway Its August of 2015, long time since I was here. Jie is still the rock, funny I never thought she would be the rock, I thought I was. Sam has remarried, Bob Powers is a nice guy, she's lucky. Simone has remarried right in front of our eyes in Bartow, this year. Ray has to be a really nice guy the kids love him. Sort of wish they would lose patience with their stupid father, but if they want to love their dad it's very ok. they are so smart they probably already do expect little but if they love him still it's good. I'm glad my kids like me, it would be awful if they didn't like you. Stupid comment. I don't know if they love me, the older I get the realization that I'm a pretty cold person becomes apparent. See, both my kids have multiple marriages. that's probably due to me not being a warm giving person. I suppose so. I always thought my kids would have excellent lives, after all they are my kids. I suspect there are numerous things they have experienced that do not meet my definition of excellent. "What doesn't kill you etc" But they haven't had excellent lives , they have had misery and emotionally charged experiences to burn. So my being bright and having a good personality didn't make my kids lives excellent. I always thought it would. I'm surprised. But they are doing OK, maybe better. Being shallow didn't help. travel didn't help. Australia, PapuaNewGuinea, Hawaii, Florida. A little trip East, always East. I figured they were special, maybe even very special and they were good, bright, smart but they had my problem about making good personal decisions. So I'll try to meet my friends starting with Bobby Breedon, Johnny Minnit, perhaps Johnny Breedon, Bob Finan, Dave Foster, I know where he is, he got a little pissed off, I would guess that's why Judy left him. I must call Preston Devereaux today about two. All old best friends I never bothered to keep track of, and now don't have a clue where they all are. I've got Jie, that's what is most important, she's wonderful. I love her. Mucher. I also hope Pam is happy, I think she is, I didn't treat her right. She's basically very nice. At almost 78, I know myself. Finally. From what I see, most people never do. So It's good. Life's good, I wish I wasn't bored tho.